So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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