If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
