I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
