im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
