i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
