I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
