im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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