I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize