Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
