my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
