You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
