She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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