bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
