We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
