she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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