She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
