well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
