If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
