That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
