I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
