Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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