i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
