So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
