Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
