last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
