Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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