Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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