Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
