I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
