no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
