I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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