White coat. Heels.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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