don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
