peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
