He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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