I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
