question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
