rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Alive.
So much puke
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
