You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
