She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
