My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
