that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
