You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
