yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
