After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
