Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
