i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize