i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
