sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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