this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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