Screwed.edu
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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