Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
