what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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