I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
