I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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