I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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